War for Edd
by Saint Danielle
Summary: What can be worse than one obsessed girl? The answer is three really obsessed ones!
1. Prologue

Author note: I don't own anything.

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><p>That's D has never been a popular type of guy. Always, too clever. Always, too nerdy. Always, too naive and so on. Being one of the hated trio did not help him also. After the incident with Eddy's brother, however, the things changed and Eds finally became part of their small crazy society. They started playing with them, talking to one another, consequently becoming real friends.<p>

As years passed, however, the number of them went down slightly. Ed, Rolf and Johnny left their dear Cul-de-Sac. Rolf's parents managed to extend the territory of their farm, which resulted in them needing their son's assistance in managing the farm. He gave them his best wishes leaving the home on Wilfred. Johnny... Well, Johnny was supposed to return one year ago, but he was still absent. And finally, Ed. Their best and dearest friend did something nobody expected him to. All those years of watching movies and reading tons of comics served him well. He drew his own comic book about three superheroes which fight the trio of wicked mutant-girls. That didn't work. But he kept on trying and trying. And eventually, his work was accepted getting numerous positive reviews among the most talented people. After that, he tried his best writing horror movie scenarios, which were really great considering the fact that almost 99, 9% of his brain contained the names of monsters and popular plots of horror genre. In the end, despite his age, he received numerous offers of work as comics-artist and movie director. His parents supported him in this. Eventually, he moved to his relatives in New York where he started his career. All of the kids missed their friends. Even Sarah admitted it referring to the fact that she had nobody to beat, scream at and torture.

And yet, some things didn't change. And would, probably, never change. A bright example of it is the family of Kankers. Even though they stopped chasing the Eds wherever they went, they didn't give up on their so-called boyfriends. Their strategy changed becoming much more planned and seductive. The departure of Ed, however, caused an infamous blond Kanker to stop stalking for a while. But she still did some 'hunting' which never went further than binding one of the Eds. As she put, she still waited for her 'Big Ed'. At the same time, her sisters were still obsessed with hunting down and playing with their respective 'boyfriends'. Eddward checked his essay for the second time looking for any kind of mistake. Not finding them, he carefully put it in his bag making sure the other homework was present. He was about to go to the bed, when his phone suddenly rang.

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><p>Okay, guys and girls. I know that the beginning is a little shitty. But I can assure you that the things will change. I swear!<p> 


	2. Chapter 1 The dinner with Nazz

Author Note: I do not own EEnE!

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><p>"Yeah?" asked the cleverest Ed, trying to sound as calm as he could. His voice, however, was not such a great ally whenever he talked to her.<p>

"Dude, sorry for calling you so late" she chuckled a little embarrassed. Despite her current age, Nazz still possessed an unnatural ability to send Eddward into the state of paralyze whenever he heard her voice. "but I really need your help right here and now!"

One hour later, he was standing right in front of her house in black jeans, white T-shirt and yellow shirt above it. He replaced his black beanie with a black hat about three years ago, thus keeping his 'under-beanie' appearance still unknown. Thinking about what kind fo help Nazz would need this late and why she asked him to come one hour after the call, he knocked on the door. In a matter of seconds, his eyes widened in surprise, the heart skipped a beat before speeding up wildly. In front of him, Eddward the Nerd-King, stood one of the most beautiful girls in the whole school in her fading blue jeans, black T-shirt and white tank-top, which by no means could hide her cleavage.

"Hi, Double D!" she smiled charmingly. Something deep inside the brain of Edd told him to run away. Maybe, that was a part of him which had some sort of trauma from all those Kanker-cidents or something. "I hope that I didn't wake you up?"

"No" he tried to stay composed, innerly telling himself: 'Just do not faint! Just do not faint! Just do not faint! Just do not faint! Oh God, if this hormonal torture is fated to contimue just a minute more, I will die from heart attack or excessive blood lose!'. And yet, he was lucky today as in a second Nazz asked him to come in, thus avoiding his hospitalization. "So… In what kind of activity you would like me to assist?"

"Here!" she exclaimed bringing a few gorgeous looking dishes out of the kitchen. "Our domestic science teacher gave us the assignment to present our best in cooking as somewhat final exam. I cooked it but I am not sure if it's good enough, that's why I need your help."

"But why me?"

"You are one of my best friends!"

"What about Sarah?'

"Last time I asked her to help me with domestic science classes, I got a detention for two weeks."

"Jimmy?"

"Look, dude, I really appreciate him, but I don/t want to attent his three hours long lecture about the French kitchen."

"Kevin? Eddy?"

"Both of them would see it as a date. Double D, pleeease! If I fail this exam, I will be banned from cheerleading for the whole year!" she pleaded putting on her deadliest weapon, Puppy Eyes Mark-NAZZ. How can any guy say 'no' to this face?

And as Nazz started serving the food, neither she nor Double D saw two heads popping out of the bush near the window.

"Okay!" groaned the blue-haired one. Marie Kanker hasn't changed much after all time. Growing a few more inches tall, she still retained that tomboyish look of hers which, strangely, attracted a good portion of Peach Creek students. "Don't know about you, but I am gonna go there shove that my fist deep down that who-"

"Calm down!" hissed Sarah trying not to do that herself. "We can't just go there and scream 'You are breaking the rules!'. Double D will learn about everything!"

"But she is-" Marie tried to protest, but she was interrupted with a sudden cry. As they looked into the house, they hardly kept their blush and laughter. As she was walking towards Double D, Nazz tripped which caused two hot cups of coffee to land on Edd's… Ahem, private place)

"I am so sorry, Double D!" she approached him with a towel in her hand.

"That is not good…" whispered Marie as she seemed to get the idea what Nazz was going to do.

"She wouldn't dare…" groaned Sarah, her eyes full of pure rage.

"Let me help you with this!" Nazz was about to 'help' Edd with his problem. But in a flash he was gone, screaming: "No! Thanks!"

As Edd was running away like the one who sniffed Ed's armpits, two girls approached blonde haired cheerleader.

"Hey" Nazz innocently smiled. The fact that right now both Narie and Sarah are not killing each other can mean only one thing.

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><p>So here we are! What rules are they talking about? And how many times will Edd have his pants 'accidentally' ruined by Nazz? Please, read and review!<p> 


	3. Chapter 2 Beware Marie!

Author note: I do not own the show. If I did, it would never end.

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><p>Edd was sitting at the desk with his eyes fixed on the place near him. Today they were having practice work which Eddy really needed to do well. But under strange set of circumstances Double D's friend was still absent. The bell rang.<p>

"Okay, get ready for Hell - _ahem_ - I mean, practice work." Their teacher smiled. There were only three things you would really need to know about this guy. First of all, to pronounce the word "wimp" in his presence can be compared to diving into Ed's underwear! Second, this us one of the teachers whose detention can make Hell jealous. For example, that Bravo boy... Poor, blonde bastard! And finally, he really liked hamburgers. "Split into groups of two people and try not to blow anything up!"

As everyone in the class picked their partners there were only two people missing: Lee Kanker and Eddy, which meant that he was partnered with...

"Hiiii, Ovenmitt" the sound of her voice sent shivers down his spine. _Edd_y, _in the name of everything good and holy, why did you do this to me?!_ He looked at her trying not to show how scared he was. I guess, everyone in front of the screen understands that he did as great as Eddy would do something without the potential monetary gain. Eddward weakly raised his hand.

"What is that, Edwin?" their teacher growled. He was known to despise guys like Double D.

"Sorry to interrupt you, sir..." he gulped. "But, as you can see, my partner Eddy is not here. So I wanted to ask if I could..."

"Partner up with Marie Kanker?" he suddenly wondered. Double D was about to protest when in a matter of seconds Mr. Wimpfrey's hand forcefully put the btunette right next to his long-time abuser. "Of course, you can!"

Nazz was watching the whole scene with pure rage all over her face. _Not only these two gave banned me from the competition for the whole week, but now this... KAnker is trying to seduce **my **Double D right in front of my eyes! This little... Okay, Nazz... Chill... Double D is a clever guy and he will never fall for her cheap tricks like the one she is PULLING RIGHT NOW?!_ The eyes of the whole class were dead locked on Marie and Edd. While the jther groups were sitting right nex to each other, the bluenette decided to take another place. Behind Double D. Her hands on his shoulders. Her well-formed chest against the back of his. While the guys thought 'Lucky bastard', Nazz's thoughts were more about her love rival. _You little tomboyish ... How dare she touch **my** boyfriend! And only that but-_

"THAT MUST BE ME PRESSING MY CHEST AGAINST HIM!" she growled aloud. The class got dead silent. Nazz faceoalmed and asked: "I said it out loud, did not I?"

And as everyone calmly nodded, Nazz blushed like crazy wishing to turn the time back. And at the same time her partner Kevin got shocked enough to mis the wrong elements which resulted in...

**KABOOOM**

"HELP!" someone exclaimed as the whole cabinet got filled with the thich steam. "I AM BEING KIDNAPPED! HELP! KANKER DANGER! KANKER DANGER!"

"Oh, Pumpkin... I shall mke sure you will sing another way after we are done~!"

"In the name of every book of the world, Mr. Wimpfrey! Help me, I am begging you!"

"Oh, I would, but..." he looked at his clock as the bell rang. "My lesson is over so I've got no right to stop her now. See you later, kid!"

"Oh nooooo!" probably everyone in the building heard his desperate scream. Marie, on the other hand, was more than pleased with how the things worked out.

_Totally worth those fifteen Kanker burgers... _she thought dragging the poor Double D to God-knows-where!


	4. Chapter 3 Beware Marie 2!

Chapter 3. Beware Marie 2!

I do not EEnE.

By the way, I wanted to thank everyone reviewing my fic since it is really great to know someone actually likes it. By the way, how many seconds has it been

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><p>Eddward has always been a person of many names. He was a good and loyal friend. Really rare type of gentleman. Some kind of a genius. But athlete? NO FREAKING WAY!<p>

However right now he was running.

Running as fast as he could.

But...

"Aw! Curse my lack of physical exercises!" he exclaimed catching his breath after five minutes of run.

Let's be honest, Double D and athletics were like Eddy and charity. Sounds both interesting and unbelievable!

Edd looked around. Right now he could not think about anything but the things that happened around three minutes ago.

_**FLASHBACK.**_

_"Marie! I demand you to stop this act of immaturity roght here and now!" he tried to sound threatening. But the only person who would be frightened by that kind of request could be a three years old girl. And that is only if it were not Double D demanding._

_"Oh..." the bluenette grinned pinning him against one of the lockers. At this moment Double D wondered how it comes that whenever he is left one-to-one with Marie there is noboby around! She licked her lips sending shivers down his spine. "Look who is trying to be dominant one... I like it!"_

_Double D gulped trying to free himself of her arms. But, as you might have already guessed, his efforts were futile. _

**_'She has the strength of two bears!' _**_he exclaimed subconciously.__  
><em>

**_'Maybe it is us with the strength of six years old?' _**_his self-criticism wondered. **'By the way, should not we pay attention to the fact that Marie is trying to undress us?'**_

_"WHAT?!" Edd panicked. And as his shirt was almost put off from him by Marie, he did it like in one of the action movies. He dived and crawled away after which he started running as fast as he could. After all, who said that the action movies he watched were not cheesy?  
><em>

**_END of FLASHBACK._**

And here we are again with Edd trying desperately to save himself (and his 'innocence' as well). An unexpected sound touched his ears. He turned his head and faced Eddy.

Really angry Eddy.

Really angry Eddy with half of his clothes absent.

"EDDY!" Double D exclaimed happily. Eddy, on the other hand, just glared before shouting as loud as Benson could only dream to.

"DOUBLE D!YOUFUCKINGCACTUSLOVINGTRAITOR!HOWCOULDYOUDOTHISTOME!"

"Sorry" Double D cleared his ears. "Now in Englisg, please."

"I thought that you would help me with that Chemistry work! You know that I am failing and I know that you know that you are the only person I know who would help me! And guess what I found in my locker today!"

'Your long-lost adult mag?" Edd guessed.

"Yeah! Wait-" he facepalmed. "I found **THIS**!" He exclaimed throwing a cramped piece of paper into the hands od Edd.

_Deer Eddy,_

_I, Duble D, totallye not May wruiting the letter, want to meat you in the abandoned hause which iz totally not a trap set to get you! See ya man! _

_Your friend, May... I mean, Edd!_

"So what do you have to tell me about this, Mr. Traitor?" Eddy accusingly glared at Double D.

"First of all" he sighed. "There is a mistake in at least every second word. Secondly, Eddy, could not you see that May has mentioned her own name two times. And finally," he showed the bright red lip-mark at the bottom of the page."Since when do I sign my letters with red lipstick?"

"HOW COULD I KNOW?!"

"Shhh... Eddy, please, you need to keep quiet!"

"WHY?"

"Because of me..." someome whispered in a sing-sang tone. "I see you fell for that stupid ttrap of Lee."

"I did not fell for it! I let you think that I did!"

"So you admit that you did it so I could make out with you?" the redhead KAnker appeared behing him.

"Exactly! Wait-" Eddy tried to protest as Lee knocked him unconscious which was quite absurd since he was twice as tall as her.

Eddward gulped as the realization hit him. He was alone again. No... Worse. He was alone with Marie Kanker. He took the fighting pose.

"Marie, I warn you! I know at least 679 facts about the human body and all of its weak points!"

"Oh..." she came closer to him and wrapped her hands around him squeezing tightly. "Are you trying to turn me ome with the 'tough guy act'? You are doing great!"

He gulped. _Oh Lord,... This is like one of those scenes in which a fragile young woman is surrounded by the gang of brutes. If our universe works in the same way as movies , then it is time for my hero to come out!_

Nobody was here besides him and Marie. She started to shorten the distance between them, her chest pressing against him. She licked her lips expectantly.

_Come on! Universe, I do not need dramatic appearance of a hero! Just save ne and my innocence!_

"Ovenmitt, are you ready to-" she seductively smiled before a fire alram rang. In an instant they were soaked wet. The moment was ruined. "Does not matter! Come here, my..."

"I AM SAVED!"

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><p>Nazz was calmly painting her nails at home when someone knocked on the door.<p>

"Coming" she said, approaching it. Hardly did the second pass, as the door was lying on the floor. "Marie!" Nazz exclaimed surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"You..." she muttered darkly. "I know that was you who broke that damn glass and ruined out moment!"

"I would not! Don't you remember? "Anyone banned who messes with active participants is out!" Do you think I would risk that much? But I know who did."

_**FLASHBACK.**_

_"Come on, Eddy!" Lee dragged him into the grils' room. "We both know how you feel about me!"  
><em>

_"I would better spend my time in the library and volunteer organizations than hang out with you!"_

_He ran as fast as he could until he saw a certain object._

_"My freedom!" he exclaimed pushing the red buttom/ _

_A fire alarm rang._

**_END of FLASHBACK._**

"... the whole class saw it, I swear!" Nazz finished.

"Eddy is so dead..." Marie growled leaving the house. "But I have already got an idea how he will repay me..."

At the very moment Eddward felt something. Something more frightening than spending three days without a shower.

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><p><strong>What will Marie make Eddy do? What are the other rules? And where is Sarah? <strong>

**All the answers and even more questions next time!**


	5. Chapter 4 Sarah's time Part 1

I don't own EEnE.

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><p>The whole week has passed since the Chemistry incideboy was sitting in . And while Double D was enjoying his life, one infamous Kanker was plotting. Everyone knew that while Lee was a secould proclaimed leader of the whole trinity, Marie was the smartest one. However, she knew that when you are in war for something you must analyze not only your <em>target<em> but your enemies as well. After all, Sarah had enough physical power and was convincing enough while Nazz was his long-time crush.

That is why she spent the last seven days learning about them as much as she could. But there was one thing that worried her a lot.

"The whole week..." she muttered. "During this period of time Sarah has done nothing. When I think about this, she hasn' done anything like what I or that blonde harlot did." Her eyes narrowed. "Something is up. And I don't like it..."

And while Marie was trying to figure out what kind of trap that_ malevolent daughter of Devil_ was going to set up for her lover/boyfriend/future husband, the very boy was sitting in the library totally absorbed into his laptop. He was so unaware of the surroundings that he did not notice a tall guy approach him from behind. (Author reminds you that there is no way I will ever put yaoi in here.)

"DOUBLE D!" the guy exclaimed as he hugged Edd so hard that the latter was about to faint. He looked at the guy and smiled brightly. In front of him was his friend Ed. He grew a few inches taller, so did his blonde hair (since the doctor exlplained to him that shaving head doesn't create the force field to protect him from 'ButterToasteating BatRatzoids' since they didn't exist). His attire changed as well. He wore dark-green T-shirt with dark-brown jacket and pants.

"Ed! Long time no see!" He coughed hinting that although he is happy to meet his friend, he still need the oxygen. "What are you doing here? Aren't you working on "Power-ON Team"? By the way, your dialogues improved drastically!"

"All thanks to you, Double D!" Ed laughed. His comics "Power-ON Team" was about three guys named Ronald, Dominic and Johnatan. Or as all the other characters called them Ron, Don and John. Three teenagers have been unique right from the birth and all of them met when John was using his powers to get easy money from the first two. His scheme failed but they befriended and over the time started fighting crime in their CuldeCity. "You know, if not you I would still write 'come' with U and without-"

"ED!" Double D blushed. He still was not as developed in that kind of thing as were his schoolmates. "I get your point. So, what about the comics?"

"Actually, I drew two hundred numbers ahead. I drew Specials, One-shots, 'What if' specials and so on! My editor said that they are going to arrange them in some order so that my readers will not lose their interest. As my editor Danny Antonucci says, "You need to learn how to turn comics paper into money bags." Oh wait!" He started searching through his pockets and in a minute pulled an envelope out of his jacket. "Here you are, Double D!"

Edd looked at the envelope making sure that it was not one of his gravy-filled presents. Not that the treatment was unsuccesful, but sometimes Ed did illogical things. Finally, Double D opened the envelope and found two checks. One was worth 5, 000 US dollars. And the second one - 50, 000 $.

"Ed," Edd mumbled as he tried to shove the envelope back to the blonde. "Why? You shouldn't have!"

"Believe me, I should have. Double D, you know how hard it was for me when the doctor started his sessions with me. And although that guy was a great man, I felt how my whole world was falling apart. I did not eat, sleep and break everything around. And then you helped me! You helped me to improve my Grammar and Vocabulary! And thanks to you, I found a way to use my vast imagination to do something cool. That is what the second check is for."

"And the first one?"

"For the character based on you. You know, Dominic guy. Eddy got one check for his character. And-" He didn't finish, however, since he was interrupted by one well-known buck-tooth Kanker.

"Oh. My. GOD! Ed, sweetheart! You came!" Double D looked at his friend. His eye was twitching, legs were shaking and he was sweating bullets.

"I... I... ED NEED RUN! RUN!" Well, one of the triggers which could cause Ed to return back to his original self was strong fear/panic. And as he rushed towards the window he exclaimed. "DOUBLE D, ED ALMOST FORGOT! YOU AND EDDY COME TO ME FOR DINNER! And-AAAH!" he finished falling out of the window.

"Ed, my man, wait for me!" May sing-songed as she followed her so called "boyfriend". Double D looked at the whole scene with eyes wide-opened.

"Why do I still get surprised?" he asked himself.

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><p>Eddy was having a great time. Not only Lumpy came back but brought some cash as well. He started at the clothes shop where he went to but didn't buy anything. But today he picked a bunch of them and was about to pay for them...<p>

"Oh, thanks!" a blue-haired girl exclaimed taking money out of Eddy's hand.

"Marie, what the hell?! Give me my money back!"

"Not until where you got them."

"They are from Lumpy. Now give it back!"

"Ed is back?" Marie asked. "So that is why May said nothing when she saw me reading her diary. So how is he?"

"He is fine. Arranged some dinner for me, Double D, Sarah and..."

"Wait. Right. There." she hissed with a deadly glare. "Ed arranged a dinner? It is so not Ed-like, isn't it? Could Sarah..." then the light bulb turned on right above her head. " Eddy, one week ago you ruined my perfect chance to have some making-out with my dreamboat. Time to pay back."

"That was not my fault! And there is nothing you can do to force the Great Eddy McGee to-". Then he heard the sound of tearing paper and almost screamed his guts out. Ten dollar bill was torn into pieces. He deadpanned. "What do you want?"

Marie smiled devilishly. By the end of the dinner Sarah wil be once and forever out of the game.

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><p><strong>Sfo, here you are, guys. Hope, you like it! Question: Should I write fanfic about Ron, Don and John?<strong>


	6. Chapter 5 Sarahs time Part 2

I don't own EEnE.

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><p>To say that Sarah was nervous would be an understatement. Tonight she was going to finally win that stupid competition and Double D would finally <em>officially <em>become her property. Oh, that was the first time she really was happy that her brother was not clever. That was so easy to persuade him to invite Edd to the dinner and then she would accidentally mention the comics signing event which would definitely make Ed run like Hell and Eddy... Well, Eddy would leave at any moment. And then only she and Double D would be alone together.

-DING-DONG

She looked at her reflection again and smiled. Blue jeans and light-pink top were replaced with beatiful cream-pink dress, there was no make-up on her face, her hair was combed into one low ponytail. She went downstairs and when she saw Double D, her heart skipped a beat/ Double D was wearing black jeans, white T-shirt and jacket above it, his trademark hat on his head. Despite the fact that his clothes were totally out of character for him, she liked it. She looked at his legs again and upper/

"Dat a..." but before she could mumble it her insides froze in cold hatred. There was Marie Kanker with her hands all over _her _Edd. Marie was dressed in her usual clothes which pissed Sarah off even more. "What are you doing here?"

Everyone looked at Sarah. Mrie took the hold of her arm and led her to the kitchen.

"What am I doing?" Marie asked mockingly. "I am watching you breaking one of the rules. "DO NOT ASK HIM OUT ON A DATE." Remember?"

"Technicaly," Sarah said simply. "It was not me who invited him. That means that I didn't break any rule/ And you?"

"I just happened to be passing by. And since it is not your quality time with my ovenmeat, I am ruining anything. So, what is for dinner, shorty?"

Sarah growled as she looked at the reader. "You don't expect me to start a cat fight, do you?"

"Who are you talking to?" MArie asked as she exited the room.

"Nobody."

"Weirdo."

And while girls were having their talk, Eddy was interogating Double D.

"So..." Eddy was wearing his 80's clothes and smelt like he bathed in cheap cologne."You have got hots for Kanker? Traitor!"

"Eddy-"

"Traitor!"

"Eddy-"

"Lalalala! I am not talking to traitors, traitor!"

Edd sighed.

"I didn't invite her. Actually, she kind of _forced _me to do this."

**_Flashback._**

_Double D looked at himself in the mirror. He wanted to look a little casual today, so he decided to let two of the buttons on his shirt open.  
><em>

_"Aw, I hope I don't look rude this way."_

_DING-DONG_

_"Who is that?" he asked himself as he was approaching the door. He opened it with a strange feeling not leaving him for a moment. "Good evening, who ar-AAAAA! Marie!"_

_"Hi, sweeetie!" she greeted as she came in. "ready?'_

_"Please!" Edd pleaded. "I am too young for this!"_

_"For dinner?"_

_"YES!... Wait aminute. What are you talking about?"_

_"Dinner. The one you are taking me to, remember? And what were you talking about?" she asked as she licked he lips._

_"But..."_

_"Okay, let me make this clear for you. My sources say that tonight you are having some quality time with your friends and Sarah. If you don't take me, you will not go since you will be tied to the stairs with me exploring every inch of your body." Edd gulpd. "If you do, I will be all goody-goody during the dinner. AND I will not make out with you. So, are we good?"_

_"Okay/" Double D sighed. "Let's go. It starts in ten minutes and-"_

_"Change." she commanded handing him black jeans and jacket with white shirt. He gave her a questioning look/ She smiled slyly. "You will change whether you want it or not. Or else I will do this for you."_

**_End of Flashback._**

"Gods only know how Marie learnt about tonight!" edd finished while Eddy just pretended not to know. Yeah, he told Marie about it. But who can blame him? His friends were in danger!

_Actually, your money was in danger. _His inner voice said

_Since when do we see the difference? E_ddy told himself as everyone started the dinner.

The evening was going smoothly. Ed was telling them about story arcs and characters. It was quite funny that most of his stories were based on their old adventures. And then Ed started talking about shippings.

"What I mean is that every hero needs his soulmate! My publisher is sure that some tension between heroes and female villains or heroines will make my comic better. And now I have a problem with one character."

"Who is that?" edd asked while looking after Marie.

"Dominic. You know, the smart one. There are three characters which are shipped with him on fandom. The first one is Mary, his archnemesis. She always teases him and often hits on him." Marie blushed a little. "The second one is Kara. His friend's little sister who developed a crush on Don after he saved her from the mutated chemistry teacher." Sarah's jaw dropped. Sometimes, she wished her brother were always dense. "And finally there is Jazz. Cheerleader, the hottest and most beatiful girl in the school, clever and kind. She rarely looked in Don's direction until they got stuck in the jungles with Omegazilla. The problem is who Don should stay with."

"Oh, that is a simple one..." Marie chuckled.

"Yeah, are there really any other candidates?" Sarah grinned.

"Mary/Kara!" both of them said in unison after which exchanged glares. "Why Kara/Mary?"

"Because Mary is what Don needs. He is a way too shy and unconfident. Mary will definitely make him understand what a great man he is."

"And I think that innocent, kind-hearted and cute Kara will make a better wife for-"

"But Kara is not-" Ed tried to say.

"SHE IS!"

"YES, MA'AM!"

"But what about that Jazz chick?"

"NO WAY!" both girls exclaimed making Eddy wish he were deaf.

"Sarah, can I talk to you? Privately?" Marie whispered.

"Sure thing." she whispered back.

And as two girls left guys alone, edd sighed.

"What, in the name of Nobel, happened to them?"

"Like I know." Eddy cringed. "Man, they are just psychos."

"Or..." Ed said. "Or maybe both Marie and Sarah fell in love with Double D and now they are trying to conquer his heart in some sort of competition. Maybe Nazz is the third girl and whatever they are allowed to do is determined by the set of rules?"

Both Eddy and Edd exchanged looks and started laughing.

"Ed, with all my respect," Eddward said through the laughs. "I think that you should watch less drama shows."

"Yeah, lumpy! Chicks fighting over for Double D?"

''Thanks, Eddy." Double D deadpanned.

"You are right, guys." Ed smiled. "Three girls fighting over one guy in a competition? Sounds really farfetched.

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><p>"That cannot go on!" Marie said. "I think that the whole competition thing was not such a great idea."<p>

"It was my idea!" Sarah groaned.

"Just like I said, stupid idea."

"Then what should we do? Tie him and kiss until he says who is the best?"

"I thought about it."

"NO."

"Okay... Next Monday, you, me, and Nazz. We are having a talk."

"About what?"

"Why we are in love with him."

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><p><strong>Okay, guys. Next time one War for Edd we are- Wait! What the!<strong>

**Marie: Okaaay, since the writer is unconscious right now. I will spoil the finale for you!**

**Writer: Don't you Dare!**

**Marie: Double D will knock-**

**Writer: NOOO! **


	7. Chapter 6 Confessions: Marie

**Author's note: **I don't own EEnE and any other mentioned Cartoon Network characters.

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><p>Chapter 6. Confessions: Marie.<p>

Have you felt like you were on the battlefield? When every step must be made perfectly so your enemies could not find any way to defeat you. That is the feeling Marie was experiencing right now. How long has it been since they started this. She didn't even count since almost all her life was about chasing Eddward. She doesn't remember how and when those two developed a crush on _her_ Edd. But she was about to learn.

DING-DONG.

The door opened revealing Nazz behind it. She was dressed in her casual clothes: blue jeans and white T-shirt. Unlike Marie, who would never wear anything but her tomboyish clothes, Nazz rarely put this set on. It has been strange, actually. Just until one year ago, she preferred this one and rarely wore dresses, tops and skirts. When all three of them learnt about their shared crush, however, everything made sense.

"Hi, Marie." Nazz greeted with a smile, although it was more than clear she would prefer not to see her. As both of them entered the living room, Marie saw Sarah, which was writing something in her notebook. "So... Who is the first?" She asked cheerfully. All of them knew that right now they were equal. And of course, none of them really wanted to tell the other two about the backstory of their crush. The room fell silent.

"Okaay, scaredy cats!" Marie groaned as she got tired of sitting with them in complete silence. "I shall go first, just so that you know you should back off!" She said before breathing in. "Well... That started around the same time my family moved in this town..."

_Those were the first days of the summer. It has been only three days since we moved in the trailer park and it definitely sucked there. I was bored out of my mind! And then one day we saw the Eds. We were just hanging out near the local dump._

"Ew." Sarah said as she put her notebook away. "That's disgusting." Marie just rolled her eyes on her comment. Man, if she only could solve the problem with simple fight...

"Oh, I am sooo sorry!" She sniffed sarcastically. "I should have fallen in love with him while playing dolls, shouldn't have I?" Seriously, the nerve of that shrimp. She sighed. "Now, if you don't mind..."

_There I often searched for spare parts of different cars. That day May and Lee were busy doing their chores, so I was on my own. And then I saw him for the first time. _

_"Hurry up, Lumpy!" A short boy in yellow T-shirt yelled as another one followed him. Those two definitely looked nothing like popular crowd. Marie chuckled. Wherever you live, you will always find outcasts like these. She thought about leaving since nothing that was here really interested her. And just as she was about to go home..._

_"Eddy, Ed! For everything holy and saint in our current society, please, slow down!" The third boy, dressed in orange T-shirt, purple shorts and black ski hat with two white stripes on each side. To be honest, I could barely tell what exactly got me interested in him. "Gentleman, if you may, could you please take my physical abilities into account when you run somewhere!" _

_"Come on, Double D!" The short one yelled. "We need to hurry up if we are gonna make this baby work!" He patted the pile of some mechanic parts the tall one was holding. _

_"For tenth time, Eddy," the gap toothed boy sighed as he came nearer to the pile of details. Something seemed really unusual about him. I could tell that we were of the same age, and yet he just didn't seem to be like our peers. Not that I have never tried to talk to the boys at my home town..._

"The way you always "talk" clearly shows that." Sarah spat.

"I swear to God," Marie said harshly. "One more word, twerp, and I'll shove your long tongue down that loose ass of yours!" She finished as Sarah blushed in the mixture of embarassment and anger. She was about to launch herself at the blue haired girl, but then Nazz stood up between them two. Both quickly remembered their agreement about today's meeting.

**No fight. Or the ban for the whole month. **

"Okay..." Marie grumbled as she calmed down. After all, there was no way she would let that blonde take her boyfriend.

_Not that I have never talked to the boys at my home town, but he seemed different in some way. He looked like a complete dork. No, like some king of the dorks. He started to explain to Eddy something about the way their soon-to-be-built machine was supposed to work and how long it would take them to construct the working prototype before perfecting it. He was definitely just the brains of that group, I could tell it from the first look. Double D was definitely someone who could never do anything extreme or even a little dangerous. But whenever he started to talk about science and inventions, his eyes got lit up with such great enthusiasm and passion. It was something... Something new for me. As those three left, I found myself wishing to see him again. _

"Wait there, dude." Nazz cut in. You could easily say that she was interested. "I thought you **three** started to stalk the Eds at the same time." Since most of the kids in the neighbourhood became closer, Nazz and tge others often listened to Eddy complaining about their first encounter with the Kankers.

"That is the funny thing, actually." Marie chuckled. "At first, I just watched the trio. But as my "observing sessions" got longer and more often, Lee and May became interested in what I was doing. One day they just followed me and found it quite interesting for them. I was really happy that they got interested in the other two Eds."

"Oh... So, that means that the whole "Obsession-ED" thing started with you, right?" Nazz asked wondering how many times the Kanker trio was wrecking havoc to get their respective Eds.

"You can say so." Marie grinned slyly. "Okay, who is next?" Both Sarah and Nazz looked at each other wishing the other one volunteered. Kanker chuckled. "So, you now understand that your stories are complete trash in comparison to mine, don't you?"

"Don't you dare!" Ed's little sister roared. "Get ready, Kanker, I'll show how foolish your judgement is!" The aforementioned teenager just grinned. Sure, she revealed a fair share of truth. And yet...

_That was one of the early summer days. It was raining cats and dogs, though. Marie rarely cursed, but right now her every second word was followed by the good deal of curses. She just happened to be the lucky one to do the shopping today. She hated the malls and people there. She hated those girls chatting at every corner or in front of the pair of some fancy shoes. She put on the hoodie and black jeans, the hood completely covered her head, hiding her blue hair beneath. The shopping went quite quickly but on her way home some idiot rushed near her on the bicycle, sending the water from puddle right on her. She was about to run and beat the guy to the pulp, but before she even stood up, someone held his hand out to her. As she looked at that person, she blushed a little. _

_"My-my," Double D said as he helped her to get on her feet. "Don't be angry with Kevin." Okay, now she knew the name of the bastard whose life will become Hell with her assistance. "I am sure, he didn't want to do this. My name is Eddward, by the way." He smiled warmly and the same smile appered on her face. She was about to reply. "And what is yours, young man?" He asked innocently. That was the moment her heart sank a little. He thought she was a boy. How does it come that the only boy she actually got interested in thinks she is him?! _

_"Mark." She answered in lower tone. As Double D hepled "him" lift all the products from the ground, he waved and smiled before walking away. On her way home, Marie could not stop thinking about that little interaction. She thought if she should have told him the truth or just run away? "No..." the answer to her own question hit her. She grinned entering their trailer and quickly rushed to their shared room. As she looked at herself in the mirror she smiled mischievously. "Next time he sees me..." she licked her lips. "I shall show him how nuch of a woman I am..."_

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><p><strong> Here you are, guys. Hope you like it. <strong>

**By the way, I am always open to your requests! **

**See ya!**


	8. Chapter 7 Tutor?

**Author's note: **I don't own EEnE.

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><p>The Peach Creek High was always the place where students could be called anything but quiet.<p>

Right now, however"Ththe classroom was dead silent. That would be a big paradox, considering the fact that their teacher was not here.

**But Sarah was...**

And she was not just in bad mood. She was in **"bother me and you will die" **mood. While her aggressive presonality was not simething new to people in this school, Sarah rarely was in this state during her lessons. And from what happened to the last man who bothered her in this state, everyone could say that staying quiet was the best possible solution in this situation.

And while all the other students were busy trying to stay alive, Sarah's blood was boiling with cold rage. She grutted her teeth drawing something in her notebook. While doing so she mentally went back to the day she made a grave mistake.

_Everything was pretty simple, wasn't it? Just go. Just tell about the reason you love Eddward. Just make them understand those two harlots that you have real feelings and not stupid crush (Nazz) or perverted obsession (Marie). _

_As if!_

The bell rang and her classmates instantly rushed to the exit. Sarah left the classroom and headed towards the cafeteria. The orange haired teen walked past the lockers thinking about how she ended up in this situation. When she entered, Sarah was just lucky to bump into Marie Kanker.

"Kanker..." Sarah growled. Her eyes got filled with cold hatred. It was clear that she barely kept herself from choking the blue haired teenager. Both of them sat at the same table.

That was when both girls heard giggle. They turned their heads towards the source of the sound.

"Great. She is there..." Sarah hissed. There was Double D in black pants and white shirt with his hat intact. Instead of food trays, however, they had several books and notes on their table. And next to him sat Nazz.

**"Way too close!" **Both girls thought glaring at the blonde. For a moment, when Double D started scribbling down something in the notebook, Nazz looked at them and grinned mischievously at her two opponents.

"Are you happy now?" Marie muttered trying to burn a hole in the cheerleader's head with her glare. "Now, thanks to you, Nazz has got whole two weeks with Double D near her almost all of the day!"

"How in the Hell is this my fault?" Sarah glared at Kanker. "That was your idea!"

"And yet she is using your story!" Marie retorted sharply.

_Flashback. 2 days ago._

_Sarah grinned taking a look at the other two's expressions. Her first sentence really caught them off guard._

_"Yup, girls." Her grin got wider. "I was at his home. More than once, by the way. We have had dinners together, watched films and I even got to see his room!"_

_"Bullshit." Marie said nonchalantly. _

_"You wish." Ed's little sister smiled mockingly._

"You could just stop there!" The bluenette pointed her finger accusingly. By doing so she made a few students look at them, but, I wish you would never experience this, intense glaring from two most violent girls in the school was too much to handle for anyone. "But no! You just had to go into details!"_  
><em>

"I like to be precise." She said proudly.

"How often do you _tickle the kitty_ while thinking about Double D?" Marie asked with a smug grin making Sarah blush deep crimson. "Please, be precise."

"YOU LITTLE!"

_"As you know, after my brother's departure I had noone to take my frustrations out on. Thanks to that, I started falling behind the others in some of my classes." Darah admitted bitterly. However, she quickly regained her smug smile. "And guess who became my tutor?"_

_Both of girls just gritted their teeth._

_"Exactly!" She exclaimed ignoring intense glares. "Eddward was so patient and kind. He helped me not only with studying problems, but also some of my anger issues. Whenever he couldn't go to me, I went to his house. The best part, of course, was the **reward**." _

_The last part shocked girls a little. _

_"You don't mean that he...?" Nazz asked blushing slightly._

_"Like Hell he would." Marie growled. She was surrounded by murder aura._

_"Oh~ Everything was so great!" Sarah mocked them in sing-song tone. "Did you know that Double D knows how to cook? He even cooks according to science, but it's still great. And when I passed all the tests with the perfect scores, I just couldn't help but thank him in **properly~**"_

_"What's with all these innuendos?" Marie said definitely hating the fact that she was the one teased right now. Especially, since she always was the one to play with people's minds. _

_"Don't be jealous." Sarah chuckled. She wondered why Nazz was so silent. But she assumed that Nazz was simply didn't want to engage in argument with her. "Like I said, I invited him to have a dinner with me. Although he was quite unsure, I managed to convince him. And, girls, that was totally worth it!"_

If only Sarah or Marie knew what would follow after Sarah's confession, they would stop everything at the very beginning. The moment Sarah stopped gloating and both girls turned towards Nazz waiting to hear her story, they were surprised to find the blonde cheerleader gone.

For a few days everyrhing went the same way as before. Marie tried to corner Edd and molest him. Sarah was rearranging her schedule trying to get into all the clubs Double D was a member of. And then it happened.

One day they found Nazz and Edd in the library together. Kevin, under the pressure of two violent girls, said that lately Nazz's been doing worse at school. Her cheerleading position was in danger. Or at least she said it was. That's why for the past week the beanie wearing genius spent most of the time with Nazz.

The bell rang signalling about the end of lunch break. Double D went in another direction saying something about meeting with her later. That was their chance to learn about Nazz's plans. They just need to act calm.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU LITTLE-" Sarah roared. Marie barely kept the orange haired girl from clawing the cheerleader's eyes out.

"What this brat is trying to say is" Marie started quite politely. But then her voice got not louder but much more threatening. "What in the bloody Hell are you, blonde bimbo harlot, doing with _**MY**_ Double D? Andwer now before Sarah and I slaughter you and I double-cross her."

"Yeah!" Sarah said. Then she shrugged and looked at Marie suspiciously. "Wait. What was the last part?"

Nazz smiled at both of them innocently looking at them.

"I am trying to save my cheerleader position." The exoressions of her female opponents gave her ckear idea of whst they thought about her answer.

"This is bullshit." Marie saif gritting her teeth. "The shrimp tells about study dates and you just happen to start failing! While you look like dumb blonde stereotype, you are definitely not. That's first. Secondly, how does it come that out of all students in our school you picked Double D?"

"Thank you for the first." Nazz said sarcastically. "Answer to the second: you know how many people would see my asking for help as some kind of sign? All the male students! For example, yesterday I asked one of my clssmates to lend me a pencil. Today he asked me out! But Double D..." a warm smile found its way on to her face. "... is different. She always helps people expecting and wanting nothing in return. Just a coincidence that he was the first one I bumped into after getting my test results."

"Just a coincidence?" Sarah asked sceptically.

"Yup." Nazz smiled. But this dmile was anything but innocent. She continued michievously:

"And it's just another coincidence that almost all of my clothes got shrinked." She watched their expressions change with a smug grin. "The only clothes left are my yoga clothes. And nothing but them."

With that said, Nazz headed towards the class whistling a melody.

"Did she absolutely **nothing **but shorts and tank top...?" Sarah mumbled. "What about her underw-"

"No. More. Words." Marie said clenching her knuckles in pure rage. How does it come that now she was not the only one with seducing tactic?! Okay, the time to level up has come! She walked towards her locker not really caring about possible detention. A few Kanker burgers could easily solve the problem anyway. She opened the locker and quickly dialed her second favourite number.

"Hello?" She daid with mischievously malevolent grin. "How are you doing, Mandy?"

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><p><strong>Sorry for not writing (<strong>

**Thanks for reviews!)**

**Double D, save your innocence! XD**


	9. Chapter 8 Charmed and Kankerous!

**Author's note: **I don't own EnE.

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><p>Eddward has always been proud of his maturity among peers. Out of all Cul-de-Sac kids, he was the most trustworthy and reliable. All students of their school also knew:<p>

**"If Double D promised something, he will do it."**

Eddy even mokingly compared him to one of those Meeseks or whatever those blue-headed psychos with 'try to please everyone' complex were. Eddward could care less about such jokes, for he thought that the promise was sacred and should not be broken!

_How, in the name of all vows and promises, did I end up in this situation?!_

His heart was beating as fast as the human heart can beat without lethal danger. His body temperature would increase even more, onlu if it could. The reason?

Well, let's do some math. First, take the 17 year old guy with healthy hormonal development and the mindset of a nun. Then we add the childhood crush, the hottest girl in the school with kind and sweet character and in skintight yoga clothes all in one single person. And, as icing on this cake, the absence of parents in home!

While all male students would kill for an opportunity like this (Double D has been feeling some kind of murderer aura sent towards him lately.), Eddward would clean Ed's room for month not to be here! While Nazz was the living example of what you might consider the perfect school crush, Edd would rather sit at the table with books, papers and notes between them rather than on comfortable sofa with Nazz resting her head on his shoulder.

"And that is how we find the derivative..." Edd finally finished before giving several problems to solve by herself. The young man couldn't help but smile at how easy Nazz seemed tu understand all the material given. At the moments like these Eddward felt so proud that he almost forgot about how close they were and was focusing on her way of solving.

"That's amazing, Nazz!" Double D exclaimed. "You have solved everything so fast! Are you sure you had difficulty with this in class?"

"What can I say?" Nazz modestly shrugged. She playfully elbowed him. "I have one hell of a tutor."

"I am flattered." Edd smiled before taking out another textbook from his bag. Nazz inwardly groaned. But soon she reasoned with herself. While taking Double D as a tutor meant twice as much homework as she usually did, the process gave her what she needed: more time with him. "So, what do you want to do next?"

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><p>Outside the Nazz's house a blue haired girl glared throught her binoculars at the pair of students. She silently groaned thinking of even more torture she would have this blonde go through once Edd was claimed hers. The sudden aura of natural disaster could only mean one thing. <strong>She <strong>was here.

Mandy Devlishe was Kanker Sisters' long time friend. The origin of their friendship is still a mystery to many people. She was one year older than Kankers and most of Cul-de-Sac kids, but she emitted the aura of someone with much longer life experience. Mandy wore short pink dress with black stripes on her sleeves. Her golden blonde hair was curled into two devil horns, she was slightly shorter than Marie but that was never brought up by Kanker. The reason? Well, her hairstyle might not have been just random, if you get what I mean.

"Remind me: Why am I bothering with your love life?" She asked in her usual emotionless and cold tone.

"Nice to see you too, Mandy." Marie smirked. "For starters, I helped you with that Mindy girl two years ago. Still can't figure out why would anyone need a bodyguard in summer camp."

"I still wonder how you took him out." Mandy chuckled. The most positive expression you could get from her without some earthquake taking place. "Anyway, not that I care for someone of Mindy's kind, but why can't you just go in there and trash her place? This is how you do things."

Marie sighed. This girl really read people like open books, which Marie barely put up with. Unfortunately, the stupid set of rules banned any disclosure to people outside of the game!

"Let's just say that I can't do this right now." Marie crossed arms over her chest. "Now let's get back to the topic. Did you bring what I asked?"

Mandy opened her black and pink handbag revealing several flasks with colourful liquids inside. Some of them even seemed to glow lightly. Marie grinned at the sight of it. It was a well-known fact that Mandy had very dangerous connections. One of her friends, a skinny and pale man with big ebony black eyes and long hair, going by the self-given (as Marie thought) name 'Grim', was exactly the case. While most about him was unknown, Mandy told that he was the genius in the field of biochemistry. And his services were just about to help her.

"...This one causes uncontrollable laughter, this one makes the person blind..." Mandy went on describing the effects of whatever liquid was inside. Marie has already picked two flasks when her eyes fell on something different. It was a small blood red box with wicked and maniacal smile drawn on it.

"What does this one do?" Marie asked intrigued. Mandy opened the box revealing some kind of powder inside.

"First time I see it myself." Mandy muttered. She hated when she didn't know something. If it were anyone else but her in this situation, then the box would be instantly put back into the handbag. But that was Mandy and she cpuld care less if that was some kind of Zombie creating powder or something like this. "Well, good luck with your cheerleader."

Marie was so interested in devising the plan of the best usage for these three gifts that she didn't even see Mandy disappearing in the black and red vortex. Marie grinned at the flasks and the box. Well, the fun was about to begin.

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><p>Nazz was happy. Everything was just perfect!<p>

The blonde cheerleader relaxed on the couch resting after their tutoring session. Right now she could smell something being cooked in the kitchen. Double D thought that it would be great to treat such a good student to some dinner.

Nazz internally patted herself on the back. While she understood that taking advantage of the other girls' stories for her own benefit was definitely not cool, the cheerleader reminded herself that this was the war.

_'All is fair in love and war. And in War for Beloved everything is far beyond that!' _Her consciousness screamed cheerfully.

"Nazz! Dinner is served!" Double D came into the room with some floor on his cheek. He smiled warmly at her again reminding her what or, to be exact, who she was fighting for.

_'Nothing is going to ruin this day.' _Nazz happily thought. Both teenagers sat at the table not aware of a certain bluenette watching them from the bushes and grinning devilishly.

**_'I am so gonna ruin this for you, blondie!' _**Marie's grin widened. She looked at her arsenal. Which one should go first?

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><p><strong>Endville.<strong>

"What was in that box again?" Her usually calm voice was filled with menace. The Grim Reaper, the one who brought fear and death into the world, shook uncontrollably under Mandy's intense glare.

"C-Cupid's wings, teenage fangirls' blood and-"

"I was not asking for that." She growled. "I asked you to repeat the name."

"A-A-Aaa..." Grim stammered. Have you ever feared for your life and felt ridiculous at the same time? Well, guess how Grim Reaper feels himself fearing for his... existence? "Absolute Aphrodisiac..."

"And what was it doing in Billy's room?" Her eyes were radiating the cold rage and promised tortures even the Hell itself would not perform if Mandy's question got no answer. "You better telm me now, Grim. Or else..."

_'I am sorry, boy... But I am the survivalist.' _Grim thought before spilling out the truth. Next thing he knew was that Mandy left the room, went downstairs. He heard Billy greet his girlfriend before the screams of agony, cries for help and pleas to Heavens filled the house. Grim could only put his hands around the knees and sit trembling in the corner. _'I shall miss this boy...'_

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><p>Hello, those who still read this little story!<p>

Sorry for delaying!) Hope I can make up for it.


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